I live in a rural town in a county that does not have many mental health options. I have been a patient at the County Mental Health office for 10 years and have seen four practitioner changes. This means that in my 10 years there, I’ve retold my bipolar story to four different providers, in an effort to make sure that they know how to best treat me. While retelling my story is a bit of a pain, I see it as a necessity to good treatment.
However, my newest psychiatrist is a bit of a challenge. To say that she has a terrible bedside manner would be putting it lightly. She has a very abrupt nature and is not as warm and understanding as I am used to. On our first meeting, she wanted to know who had prescribed me my medicine and why I was on Vyvanse. She didn’t even ask me how I was feeling on my current prescriptions, just “what are you on and why.” I felt like I was being interrogated and had to defend my prescriptions. I made sure to tell her that the cocktail I am on works perfectly for me. In other words, I told her, “please don’t mess with my medication.”
I understand that “it’s her prescription pad and her prerogative as to what prescriptions she writes” but changing my medications when they are working is not what I signed on for. I know that the stance on medication is often stigmatized, but I also know that my medication helps me function. If I’m doing well (and I am doing well) I want to keep that going. Messing with my medication would ultimately put me in jeopardy of losing my job, not to mention my loved ones.
I have contemplated going to a new psychiatrist, but again, I live in a town where we don’t have many options and making an appointment for another provider would take at least 2 months before I could get in.
It still weighs heavily on my mind, though. I think a change is coming and I need to be prepared to make that change.