A lot of times you’ll hear that people who suffer with mental illness “self-medicate” with alcohol or non-prescription drugs. I believe that this happens more than people are aware. I also think that people who suffer with mental illness are so desperate to feel “normal” that they’ll do just about anything to feel that way.
Speaking for myself, before I was diagnosed, I went through a period of heavy drinking, where I would numb the many thoughts that were spiraling through my mind. It was dangerous, not to mention costly.
Fast forward to present day: I am very careful when I drink alcohol. I think that I have an “addictive personality” and feel I could easily slide into an alcohol addiction. Whether at a party or after a tough day at work, I am cognizant of using alcohol to “dim my day” and deal with any agitation.
This mindfulness is not easy – there are many days that I wish I could just pour a glass of Rum Chata (wine’s not my thing) and sit and enjoy the drink and the mellowness that comes with it. This is one of the reasons that I don’t often have alcohol in my house in the first place. The extra trip to the liquor store gives me the time to question if drinking is really what I want to do.
Like everyone else, I’d love to quiet the thoughts in my head and numb the feelings of agitation. However, knowing that it’s a slippery slope, I am mindful to stay my course and not become addicted to alcohol.