Yesterday I did something that I hardly ever do. I mean, it happens so infrequently that when it does happen I don’t even catch on to what is going on until it’s too late to rectify the situation.
I FORGOT TO TAKE MY MEDS.
For someone with Bipolar II and ADD, who relies on medication to make it through each day, this is a huge issue.
My day started off rough, I was irritable – couldn’t stand to listen to my co-worker complain (which is a daily thing – but usually goes in one ear and out the other). Then I noticed how exhausted I was; I even thought to myself, “I’m exhausted and I’ve got amphetamine in my system, what’s going on!?!”
It wasn’t until the afternoon, after I had struggled for hours with my irritability, shifting anger and exhaustion that I began to feel dizzy. When I say dizzy, I mean, I would get up and have to grab hold of the desk because the room spun that quickly. My son even made the comment that I had been drinking at work, when I went home for lunch.
I left work early, knowing that to be there any longer would be a detriment, as I’d say something I’d regret (holding my tongue doesn’t happen when I’m irritable), or I’d literally fall down from being so dizzy.
As I lay in bed, curled in the fetal position, hoping that sleep would remove me from and remedy my situation, I began to have a recurring feeling. We’ve all had one too many, when the room spins. However, I was what was spinning and could actually feel myself roll off the bed and onto the floor – the thing is, that NEVER happened. I was a hair away from hallucinations, wondering what was going on, why I was feeling this way and when it was going to stop.
On my bedside table, sits a medication organizer that is broken down into 7 compartments, one for each day. Every Sunday, I fill it up with the medication and a few vitamins that I am on, to keep me even-keel. My habit is to take my medication each morning before I leave the house to start my day. I know (I mean really KNOW) that when I don’t take my medication, I can easily slip into a drastic mood swing, irritability or even suicidal thoughts. It’s something I don’t take lightly.
However, yesterday, somehow I left the house without taking my medication, and it wasn’t until later that night, while I lay in bed, still spinning that my eyes shot open and landed on my bedside table, only to notice that the compartment for that day was still full of my medication.
Now the dilemma ensues; do I ride it out until morning, or take the forgotten dose and risk doubling up in the morning?
Usually the pharmacist will tell you to take a dose as soon as you’ve realized you’ve missed a does. But at that time of night, so close to morning, I just rode out the final hours of the day, praying that I’d make it to morning without the start of a drastic mood swing or depression sitting in.
For those of you on medication for your mental illness, I’m sure you can relate to this post. It’s important to put fail-stops into your daily routine, so that what happened to me, doesn’t happen to you. You’re medicated to feel better. Keep taking your medication and don’t stop, unless by Doctor’s orders.